Angry Mommy Syndrome: What is it, and how do you deal with it?

 

Are you angry? Are the kids getting on your last nerve? Have you lost your cool more than you would like? You might be suffering from Angry Mommy Syndrome.

What is Angry Mommy Syndrome? It is a term I thought I coined until I Googled it, lol. It’s when I get uncharacteristically mad at my kids. It’s when I jump from zero to 20 on a ten point scale. It’s when they are doing what I told them to do but not fast enough. Or, when they’re just too loud for no reason. It’s what happens on those days when yelling and frustration take over and nothing seems to go right. The list can go on but you get the gist. I’m sure I’m not alone.

 

Here is a perfect example. Last week my kids hit every button I could think of. The thing was, they were just being kids. However, to me, they were being obnoxiously loud from the moment they woke up. It didn’t help that I was having some hearing issues that caused sound to be amplified. They ate and I sent them to the playroom so I could have a moment of quiet. I mean it was only 8am! I promise you that was the worst thing I could have done. They started jumping off of the trunk, having pillow fights, running into walls, etc. My frustration went through the roof. I went in and spoke to them and I promise not even 5 minutes later they were back at it again.

 

To add to that, the “Mommy’s” started coming in. “Mommy, she hit me; Mommy, he pushed me; Mommy, she won’t share. Mommy, mommy, mommy, mommy!!” I answered at least 50 mommy calls in less than 15 minutes. That moment of quiet was not happening. Let’s try reading… that should be a quiet activity. Should be! That is, until they were done with the books and found things to drag around the house… like a curtain rod I had sitting in a closet. I literally felt my blood pressure rise. My neck veins popped out. My face got hot. Angry Mommy Syndrome was fully activated.

“What are you doing!? What were you thinking?! Who? What? When? Why? How?”

I could not comprehend it… my mind was blown to think that they thought they could act like that in my house. Such disrespect! They should know better. The Lord saved their little behinds that day. All I did was split them up for an hour. I sent Neo to his room, Sarah to the playroom, and Ana stayed with me.

 

What Causes Angry Mommy Syndrome? After the “Incident” I sat down to calm down. I called my husband to vent. He rarely has much to say when I’m fuming like that. After I got off the phone I sat and reflected. Ok, I know I’m tripping… but why?

I found there are 4 main symptoms that flare up AMS: Hunger, fatigue, PMS, and stress.

  1. Hunger- Like most people, when I haven’t eaten for an extended period of time I am easily irritated. This results in a lack of energy, patience, etc.  When those things are added on top of the hunger itself, it can be a dangerous combination for anyone who pushes the wrong buttons. You know those Snickers commercials about people changing into someone else when they are hungry? That would be me.
  2. Fatigue- As you get older and have more responsibilities you tend to get less sleep. Your body needs sleep. After lacking it for so long, exhaustion sets in. You become mentally, physically, and emotionally drained, making you more susceptible to AMS.
  3. PMS– Face it, around that time of the month we can be a bit more emotional than normal.  This can cause us to overreact in certain situations that we would normally handle more gracefully.
  4. Stress– The stress of life coupled with the inability to change our situation can have us in a funk. This stress can quickly turn those close to us into enemies that add to an already heavy burden. If you are not part of the solution then you are now a problem. And who has time for more problems? Instant AMS!

 

How to deal with AMS

  1. Take control– Make the necessary adjustment to eliminate extra stress. When I felt myself passing my boiling point I didn’t lash out. I dispersed everyone to make sure I wasn’t hitting them out of anger. Human anger does not produce the righteousness of God (James 1:20).

    Let all bitterness and wrath and anger and clamor and slander be put away from you, along with all malice. Be kind to one another, tender-hearted, forgiving each other, just as God in Christ also has forgiven you.(Ephesians 4:31-32) 

    You don’t want to do anything when you are angry because the true reason for the punishment would be to take out your rage and not necessarily to administer proper discipline. You can always come back after you are calm and then discipline if required.

  2. Assess– Take a deep breath and find the root of your problem. My root was fatigue and PMS. I hadn’t been sleeping well due to some body aches and staying up late to work on some projects. I used the time to relax a little. No dishes, no TV… nothing but sitting down and taking a much needed break.  It was just me and my thoughts. I was able to clearly understand why I felt so stressed by taking a short time out.
  3. Plan of action– After you pinpoint your root problem, what are you going to do about it?
    • Obviously, if you’re hungry you should eat.
    • If you’re tired plan a nap. When I’m tired I take a nap when my kids have theirs.
    • If your kids don’t take naps, then this would be a good time for a movie and some snacks. Lay a blanket on the floor and let everyone watch.
    • You can also go outside. The sunlight will revitalize you and outside is perfect for loud children. They can run around to their hearts content, and they noise will not seem as loud.
    • Go out for ice cream. Yum!
  4. Pray- Make your request known to Him. 

Ask, and it will be given to you; seek, and you will find; knock, and it will be opened to you. For everyone who asks receives, and he who seeks finds, and to him who knocks it will be opened (Matthew 7:7-8)

There is a solution to every problem. You have to be patient until your resolution comes. In the meantime, enjoy what you have. There’s nothing you can do about paying the bills if you don’t have it right now. Stop stressing over them! Tell them you don’t have it, but when you do you will pay. If there is nothing you can do about making more money right now, don’t worry about it! If you have checked every website, applied everywhere, and even called in, stop stressing! Keep applying, but leave the application in God’s hands. Pray and enjoy the rest of your life! There are always more good things than bad when you look for the good.

If you follow these steps you can get rid of your AMS in a matter of minutes to just a couple of hours. Part of it is a mental thing and part of it is emotional, but all is manageable. 😉

Related Post

Comments

  1. Reply

    Oh honey how true! I love the fact you took the time to write this and you worded it so well. I’ve discovered that the truth in the fact when mommy ain’t happy ain’t nobody happy and it really is a matter of the heart. If I don’t focus on the love Christ has given me then how can I ever expect to truly show unconditional love, patience and kindness to my kids?

    1. Reply

      Thank you so much Lauren! You are so right about keeping focus on Christ. Therefore be imitators of God, as beloved children; and walk in love, just as Christ also loved you and gave Himself up for us, an offering and a sacrifice to God as a fragrant aroma. Ephesians 5:1-2

  2. Reply

    I totally agree with all the things that makes mommy anger flare up. Thanks for the great tips on how to manage it.

    1. Reply

      Thank you for reading! I’m glad you enjoyed it.

  3. Reply

    My angry mommy syndrome flairs up when I haven’t gotten enough sleep. Then anything can set me off!

    1. Reply

      Ah, sleep the luxury of motherhood. So there with you!

  4. Reply

    Interesting article and funny blog post angry mom syndrome. Great information with examples that any mom can easily follow. Thanks for sharing.

    1. Reply

      Thank you for reading!

  5. Reply

    You gave some really good examples in this post to re-direct kids and handle anger more gracefully.
    We have days like those and one day it was raining, After several requests for them to stay out of the mud I looked outside….you get the picture. Head to toe mud on both.

    1. Reply

      Kids seem to gravitate towards mud. Too funny! I’m sure it wasn’t at the time. I wanted to share to show some mothers that they are never alone. We all go through it. Thank you for sharing your story as well.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *