I am currently a stay at home mom. When people asked me what I do, I used to be ashamed to say I stay at home with the kids. I felt as though I wasn’t doing anything. Let’s be real: my days were filled with things to do but I did not feel accomplished, mainly because I wasn’t out in the world bringing home some bacon.
This is not an argument about whether working moms or stay-at-home moms are better. This is a realization that being a mom is hard work.
Someone once asked me, “Well, why is it so hard to be a mother? Shouldn’t it come naturally?” It was a guy (of course)! But I didn’t freak out on him (yay me!). It actually got me thinking on it. Why is it so hard? After all, we were created to be fruitful and multiply.
Of course the natural response would have been, “Do you know what I have to do? I wash, clean, cook, dress, feed, maintain finances, tend to them when sick, grocery shop, take them to the doctor, etc.” While all of this is true, the fact is we were created to care for our family.
So, why can’t we seem to do it with ease? After years of pondering it hit me. Two simple words… “my flesh”. The flesh is enmity to God. It does not want to do anything that pleases God.
When I was battling the idea of staying home there were a couple of things I used to tell myself: “You are going to lose your identity. You’re not accomplishing much.” They were all lies to give me an excuse to go back to work ASAP.
Here’s how I laid them to rest.
You are going to lose your identity…
- That can’t be, because the identity I already have will only be improved. I am much wiser as a parent. Having kids helped me learn how to budget, how to create an effective schedule, and how to be heard without yelling. It also enhanced the taste and speed of my cooking.
You’re not really accomplishing much…
- Really?! You are responsible for lives. God trusted you enough to leave a life in your care. You are training and nurturing our next generation. If you’re just looking for another job title, you just became a General Manager! Don’t believe me? Google “General Manager job description” and see if the descriptions that come up don’t fit.
The daily fight of battling the flesh can get you to forget all of that. It’s not the menial chores but the mental attacks that come in to tell you some lie about how you are not fit or properly equipped. If you were getting paid for the chores or the GM position, you would do it gladly. Remember, you ARE being paid! Our Father gives the rewards!
We often accept positions based on the experience we can gain. Motherhood provides a level of experience like no other. It gives the knowledge of several fields like budgeting and finance, scheduling, project management, HR, etc. Plus, there’s the joy of seeing the results of your hard work. It makes me very happy to see how polite, intelligent and well-mannered my children are. Other people notice it too,and many of them express how impressed they are.
You may not be bringing home the bacon. But you’re bringing home values, education, respect, self worth, honesty, confidence, love, and creating a lifetime of memories. Also, don’t forget that when you have done your job your children will call you blessed! They will care for you the way you cared for them. Continue to fight the good fight of faith ladies!